The Usual Sleeper

So I’m beginning blog post #4 with another confession. The confession: I tend to fall asleep watching movies.  I tend to fall asleep watching movies a lot.  I don’t know what it is, but somehow nearly every time I start watching a movie past the hour of oh, let’s say 10 p.m. (read 4:30 p.m.) I wind up dozing off which is actually pretty frustrating.  It’s frustrating because I usually begin dreaming about the movie adding my own dreamland modifications.  Then of course, I wake up wondering what the heck the true story is.  For example, in the 'Usual Suspects' starring Kevin Spacey (whom I adore), I found myself wondering… Was there really a scene in which he runs to Las Vegas to play blackjack and then joins the chorus line to start singing ‘Somewhere Beyond the Sea?’ (Other Kevin Spacey fans know that this crazy image was a remix of two of his greatest roles; The MIT professor in ‘21’ and Bobby Darren in ‘Beyond the Sea’).   

Anyways, regarding my narcoleptic predicament, I think I figured out what the variable is for the movies that I do not fall asleep in.  (No, it’s not watching them @ 8:00 am after coffee or instructing my movie viewing partner to pinch me….).  The variable?  I never fall asleep in movies in which I have seen the preview for.  On some level, I think seeing the preview allows my brain to make a lightly sketched road map that gets retraced and filled in with all the little details of the movie once I actually see it.  Without having any idea of what the movie is about or where it’s going, my mind is literally a blank slate and that’s when it gets filled in with nothing but ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ’s. 

Now, in this movie ‘The Usual Suspects,’ I was incredibly disappointed that I kept falling in and out of consciousness for one very specific reason: the final scene.  Now, without giving anything away, (a cleverer thing to say than ‘now, I don’t really know how the heck they got to this ending but…’) I’ll just say this: I think the last time I saw a movie with such a great and twisted ‘blow your mind ending’ came from Paul Giamatti in ‘The Illusionist.’  In a word, that ending ruled.  I mean, it’s one of those endings where your mouth is open and you’re creepily laughing while occasionally saying things like, “no freakin’ way!” 

Well, that is exactly how I felt with that same buildup and satisfying ending in ‘The Usual Suspects.’  Or rather, it is how I should’ve felt if only I had stayed awake!  Instead, the only sentiment I’m left with is wondering why the heck there are so many Baldwin brothers all over the place when everyone knows they can’t hold a candle to their brother, Alec.  Seriously.  I mean, while Alec is practically the face of SNL, William and Stephen are in a bunch of c-level TV shows, (William in Gossip Girl and Stephen in the short-lived Dirty, Sexy, Money) and you can’t even tell them apart!  Their names should be changed to “Baldwin, but not Alec.” 

I mean come on, how great is Alec Baldwin?  He gets to star in a TV show with Tina Fey (my favorite actress) and his commercials for Capital One are the single handed reason why that is the credit card I own.  And how much better is Alec than his brothers?  Well, to get another Baldwin in the commercial, Capital One thought it would be a better idea to clone Alec to get a second Baldwin rather than asking one of his brothers to be in it.  Proof:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdYWT1nY5A4  Need I say more?

That’s all for now.  The next update will come after a) having watched the preview beforehand and b) after having downed a large coffee. 

Movies Watched: 5/100

Days to Go: A few less, but still a lot.

PS- In wanting to fact-check my Baldwin references, turns out I was wrong.  The Gossip Girl and Dirty, Sexy, Money characters were actually both played by William.  Who noticed? No one.  Who cares? Again, no one.  Point proven. 

PPS- Don’t be silly.  Of course I didn’t get a Capital One credit card just because Alec Baldwin does their commercials.  Part of the credit goes to Jimmy Fallon’s commercials too.